What Happened to Fatherhood?

He Said...For the purpose of discussion, here are a few thoughts on the history of fatherhood in our country. But first, what is the current state of fatherhood in America? According to Families and Living Arrangements: 2006, a report published by the US census bureau, there were 12.9 one-parent families in 2006 of which 10.4 million were single-mother families (over 80%). In 2006 the US census bureau also reported that there were 1.7 million married women in the US who had been left by their husbands. These are interesting facts. Historically, divorces became very prevelant in the 1970's. During that time approximately 11% of children lived in single parent families. By 1996 this number had nearly tripled to 31% and has declined slightly since then. In 2002, 16.5 million children, or nearly one quarter of all US children lived with a single mother (www.answers.com/topic/single-parent-families). So what has happened to fatherhood? Why the decadence?

Here is a theory. We are all familiar with 20th century history and know of the horrors of war and death that plagued our world during this century more than ever before in the history of the world. During World War I and World War II, many noble men of our country fought courageously to defend the defenseless and prevent the world from being swallowed by tyranny and corruption. Many of them lost their lives, and many of them returned to America having seen sights and done deeds that no man should ever be asked to experience. These men were great men, full of valor and love for their country, but how could so much destruction, death, and hate not have had its affect on them? Men's hearts become tough in order to be able to bear the witness of so much horror. So when it came time for these men to gently and lovingly teach their sons what it meant to be a man, could it not have been difficult for them to have conveyed the love and caring nature that is so important to a man? In fact, could it have been difficult for them to relate to their children at all with love and care after witnessing such horrors? How many of you who are reading this right now have fathers who had horrible relationships with your grandfathers? A perfect illustration can be found in Hollywood's "Grand Torino"...a moving story of a veteran of the Korean War who has a horrible relationship with his children, although his heart is a generous and sacrificial one. Young veterans of World War II were in their 20s when they returned from the wars. They were having children in the 1950's, and these children were marrying in the late 1960's and early 1970s. Is it any surprise that divorce rates began to increase drastically in the 1970's?

All this begs a question: how do we stop this trend of fathers not knowing how to be fathers and not being able to relay to their sons how to be fathers?

Dear Blogger...

Thanks for your comments and here are my answers to some of your questions. First, when we follow Christ it isn't that we model the single life of Christ, but we are modeling the virtues He teaches us. As for men and women who believe that they are better than others because they love Jesus or as you wrote "have Jesus", I would say that their attitude totally contradicts authentic charity (love), which is the way of God...so I would say that they have misinterpreted what it means to love Jesus and love others.
You also wrote that "Christ could become a reason NOT to love someone." I argue that Christ is never a reason to not love someone because God is Love. We love because He loved us first. As far as women recognizing men as true, I claim that a woman will recognize what a man offers her in love as true because the man demonstrates in word and action unselfish, unconditional love; the kind of love that she knows by loving and having a relationship with Christ. A man who offers this in my eyes offers true love. The modern world gives us many versions of "love" and sadly we have been fooled, but for myself and probably others, I'm interested in the real deal and not the other versions of "love".
Last couple points to address...Christ remained single because that was God's plan for Him, just as we can discover and know our purpose and plan in life when we develop a relationship with Our Creator, God. He has the plan. As far as your claim that women did not recognize Christ,...well, that isn't true actually. Women definitely recognized Christ. He had women followers. The bible is full of those instances of Christ speaking with women, and women recognizing Him (Check out John 4:1-42). Finally, to answer your question "could a person NOT know Jesus and have a good relationship with their spouse?"...I like this question, and I believe the answer is yes. Yes, because God is merciful. God loves us and desires to be with us. Remember what I wrote earlier, He loved us first. We still need to exercise our free will and participate in this relationship with God, but I believe that God will do whatever He can to reach a soul...what better way to reach somone then to show love to that person who may not believe, if it will begin him or her on that journey to Christ?
Thanks for your questions!
She Said