No Free Passes Here

Dear Blogger,

Where do I tell women to lower their standards? From experience and observation, at times we have our love for a man in the wrong order, meaning that we love the man more than loving Christ. Even good, God-fearing women can do this sometimes and not realize it until things drastically change. Also, remember that not all relationships are meant for marriage, no matter how in-love we are or how much we think that the relationship is "the one"; things can change, and so they will end...one way or another...some worse than others. This can be part of the plan until we do meet the right person. I think this can be seen as God's mercy and way to show us perhaps we need to grow more and learn more about true love or grow in other ways; after all, this is the journey that we are on, and God weaves people in and out of our lives for a reason.

Remember that the relationship experience is about two people, and yes, we can say that the man is at fault for this or that and there can be truth to that, but what can we as women learn from our experience too? What is the good that God is teaching us even from a bad relationship experience? I also would say that we need to make sure that our hurt feelings do not make our hearts bitter towards loving another, and also, there are good men out there that probably are talking about how finding a good woman is difficult as well. I'm sure at some point they'll join this blog, or at least I hope they do. :) We can benefit from their perspective too. Back to my point, we need to self evaluate and reflect and make sure that even as good women, we do not let hurt feelings make us negative and full of doubt. God does not want us to be without hope. Romans 5:5-11 "Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us".

Asking women to pray for men and to reflect on our expectations of them does not give men a free pass, so don't worry, in fact the prayers will help ;). As you are already doing, the point is to establish a relationship with God so that we learn how to love without losing God as the first priority, and men and women both must do this. Remember too that when difficulties or break ups happen, it is God that we should turn to and seek comfort because He knows and sees all; God can never be deceived even when we are...and my faith tells me that all things, even heart ache, disappointment, and unforeseen events are all a part of His plan for me. It is up to us, men and women, to persevere and continue to hope and love. It is about how we respond to these events.

All this does not lower my standards for men. In fact what I have just described requires virtuous standards for both men and women.

-She Said