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With the recent Super Bowl advertisements finding humor in showing women emasculating men through dating and marriage, I am very quickly reminded of how far we have fallen in respecting human dignity thanks to feminism. As a woman, I was offended by these commercials, and I felt bad for men. At the Super Bowl party I attended, the men’s reactions were a mixture of those who found the ads funny, and those who seemed to accept it as shamefully familiar. One guy even commented that it’s taken him a week to get the feminine candle smell out of his apartment from his last girlfriend. His sarcastic remark came after we viewed the commericals with advertising campaigns claiming that men are completely “spineless”, and that they are truly dominated by women in marriage and dating, but in consolation, the muscle car is “man’s last stand”. Wow! What a depressing outlook for the present and future state of masculinity. I feel bad for these guys if in fact this is their reality. So, is it true, are men passively accepting female domination?
A reader from another blog seems to say yes and more. I came across an interesting question in the following article, The Feminization of Race. The reader asked, “Why have men allowed women to emasculate them?" Now this person posed a provocative question, because the question refers only to white men. If the reader seems to claim that black men have done a better job at maintaining their masculinity, is it a valid claim? By the way, it may be worth mentioning that the commercials seemed to predominately depict white men.
I'm not ignoring that the feminist movement and some women have done their part in destroying authentic differences between the sexes, because they have, but the article from the other blog brings up an interesting viewpoint. Have men allowed themselves to be emasculated? If so, why, and does race play an issue?
Padre Pio
3 days ago
Hmmm....Interesting thought. Clearly this is a multifaceted problem. On one hand, there is an overall trend, tied inextricably to radical feminism. On the other, actions are taken by individuals, not movements. From a man's perspective, I think part of the issue is that men need to have more selective and better directed criteria in mind when pursuing a woman. Sure, there are women out there who become the woman in the ad only after some time has passed, but I think in large part it may be that the man in question is with someone he never should have pursued. Often when you see this it's when the woman in question is attractive for reasons other than her character (ever notice how a lot of these "whipped" guys are with very physically attractive women?). On the other hand, there are also guys who just don't have enough backbone from the start, and they set up a pattern early on of being led around. Perhaps this is largely driven by a perception that this is what women want. I guess that's one more reason not to be ruled by the opinions of the age.
ReplyDeleteI won't pretend to understand women as well as men (ever), but the same would seem to apply. Women hold immense power over men, whether or not a man is able to resist. That power has been abused throughout the ages, and continues to be now. It could of course, go the other way as well, with a woman filling in the role of leader in the absence of a man willing/desiring to do so.
On a more benign note, it's also possible that in some cases it's a fear of independence. At first a couple may want to do everything together just for the shear desire to be close and to share each others lives. As time goes by though, there are inevitably parts of life which are best shared and others which are completely legitimate to keep separate. For instance, let's say that before marriage a man's passion was fishing. He puts it on the back burner for the sake of the relationship, and is willing to subordinate it to his wife's needs. With time, though, there's nothing wrong with keeping it a part of his life, so long as it doesn't become an interference with his family life. It's actually a good thing to have some time with the guys from time to time. The same is true for a woman. Failing this, there can be a conflict arising when one half of the couple expects the other to fill in that gap, for a woman to expect her husband/boyfriend to fill in the role of girlfriends, or vice-versa.
I'm sure there are some other takes on this, so I'd like to hear what others have to say.
As for racial differences, well, it may be true to an extent, but it's hard to make any grand generalizations.
I agree with pretty much all of the above. I just want to add that my initial reaction was, "A car? Really, that is what you want in return for being charitable on a few of those give and take issues? To be allowed to drive 'the car you want to drive'." How completely shallow and superficial.
ReplyDeleteThere will always be give and take issues in any relationship. One mentioned in the ad was putting his underwear in the basket. I would call that basic hygiene but when you are a bachelor you can throw your clothes all over your own room and nobody is going to mind and, chances are, nobody is going to die of some disease either. Unless your roommates are real slobs they won't let you throw your cloths in the hall or living room. So, when you are married you have to respect the other person you are living with enough to keep the room you share clean. That is just basic courtesy and charity.
When it comes to a guy being allowed to drive the car he wants to drive there is no such overlap unless the car is shared between the two.
I would say a better give and take scenario is watching vampire movies with a girl who likes them and watching other shows the guy likes to watch. Even if the guy is just sitting next to the girl and really not enjoying the show at all it can be done out of charity. However, the girl should occasionally do the same for the guy. Suppose he likes MMA fights and she cannot stand them. There is no math involved in charity but you can bet that if he has to accompany her while she watches vampire flicks all the time and she refuses to sit next to him while he watches MMA there is a serious lack of charity and manipulation going on. Of course, the guy would be just as manipulative if the tables were turned and he would never accompany her.
Sounds like a case of harmony over dignity. A lot of immature women may have the attitude with men that 'if you loved me then' .... (fill in an unrealistic expectation)
ReplyDeleteI often wondered if it has gotten so bad that men could no longer tell the difference between love and manipulation.
It also seems that women are under very little pressure to assure men of their love. After all the men choose you. Right? You didn't *choose* them. You may only agree until the bigger better deal comes along, a more suitable replacement perhaps. Commitment need only be something men need address. Right?
What is wrong with this statement?
'I only date pretty girls.'
Think about it. How does it address or deny the dignity of the human person.
How 'bout this;
A commercial where a man whispers to another man "I will leave my wife when she turns old and replace her with the newer model". Then they both laugh and agree.
Are you ready to smack me? How is this any different than a commercial that makes men look like weak fools.